3 biggest lies in the world

"This will only hurt for a little while"

"I'll only put the head of it in"

"I promise that I won't try to cum in your mouth"

Name the singer of that song and get 3 points

posted by Suicide at 10:39 PM

Well I bet alot of you thought that I stopped posting on this thing or some such thing like that.  Well in a way, I did.  Since it has been almost *not quite* a month since my last posting.  Alot of stuff has gone on in my life since then.  Not all of it good.  I can't even remember what I posted last and I am too lazy to go read it so I'm just going to do an update.  So June 19th was a race but we went down on the 18th so that we wouldn't have to leave early in the morning for the race since it was about a 3 hour trip or some such thing... I really should get a watch or something.   Maybe a sundial.  Either way we got there the day before.  It was a nice day out, and even though I lost my course a few times *stupid plotter kept zonking out on me just as I was finishing it so I would have to re-do it* got into a few nice waves that crashed over the bow and everything.  Fun fun.  Plus off one of the islands I think I hit something, or something hit me.  There was a bunch of stuff floating in the water.  But it didn't hit all that hard or anything, more like a glancing blow.  I think it was a seal or a small whale or something.  Either way, it went bonk and nothing on the boat seemed to be any different.  So anyways, we were there.  And I happen to see this boat coming up and I say "boy that sure does look like Hate Me Rose" and sure enough it was.  Hate Me Rose is a 28 foot deep V boat that has been modified heavily to fit the criteria for a lobster boat and she has an 8V92 Detroit Diesel in her with around 1400 hp or so.  Quite the sight.  So a little party ensued, wasn't really a party more like a get together?  And one of the guys that came with me disappeared and reappeared.  He was at the bar getting some beers in him.  Then we went to dinner and he switched to coke with vodka and kept going with that.  After dinner we went back to the boats.  Kept up with old friends.  Then I went to sleep while he went out to the dance and the bar across the bay there.  He got back at 1 am or something like that.  I awoke up to him talking to Ralph at 4 am.  Ralph lives over the side of the boat.  You know Ralph.  That is the sound you make as you are throwing up after a big night of drinking.  So that day when I went to sign up the major competition that was there but not going to race... seemed to sign up.  So I set the idle up on my engine going from 600 rpm to 1300 rpm and when it is put into gear it goes from 0 mph to 13 mph instantly with quite a jolt.  And when the race finally came and the flag dropped I was off way out in front with no contest.  But the transmission was slipping a little bit.  The rpm of the engine would go up 50 or so when it slipped but it went right back in.  So we came home that day.  In the fog.  Stupid fog.  When I got home I went to go see my grandmother and she wasn't doing too good.  She had gone down hill since the last time I saw her, being the day before.  Alzhimers *spelling* sucks for everyone involved.  So I spent time with her, talked with her.  And during all this I was trying to get that damn boat finished.  It was down at the dock and when they are at the dock things take like 3 times as long because you have to travel back and forth to get things.  But it had to go down to the dock so the tower could get put on otherwise it never would have gotten down the road.  Or even out of the shop!  Her birthday was on the 1st.  The big 87!  Tragic though, she wasn't "there" to enjoy it.  That disease really had taken its toll on her and her mind just wasn't there anymore.  The 3rd came around and it was another race.  We went down on the 2nd again to not have to go early in the morning.  It was like a 4 hour trip.  Through the fog.  BLASTED FOG!  Fog sucks because not only you can't see, but the scenery never changes infront of you.  It is hard to get a bearing so when you are just going along you might be in a slight turn and unless you look at your plotter you could be WAY off course.  But I made it there, no worries.  Tied up.  Went to a pagent where I was a judge.  That was fun.  An 84 year old woman won it.  Which was nice.  I master minded the entire thing.  Points wise she was 3 away from winning anyways so I suggested we should give her some bonus points for giving such good complete historical answers and etc.  There was this one girl though, 20s or so, red hair hips a lil wide, but wowie hotness.  She got second, even though she was actually supposed to get 3rd but the guy reading the places goofed so 3rd got 2nd and 2nd got 3rd!  Then the next day we raced again.  In the fog.  That place always has fog.  Never fails.  I forget if I put my idle up for that.  I think I did.  Yes, now that I think about it I did.  There was an Indian onboard too, a Native American.  She was cute I suppose.  Nice boobs.  Not that I noticed or anything.  *halo* So I won that one as well, but the transmission was slipping alot more and then I ran the free-for-all and it was REALLY slipping, with the rpm going up 500 instead of 50 then it would catch off and on.  So we came home.  3 and a half hours with 50 miles of fog then 3 seperate thunder storms complete with lightning!  A blast striking the water right next to the boat maybe 300 feet or so?  It was close.  I got to see the water boil.  Neato!  The next day we were at the dock and talking to some people when we got the message that we might want to go up and say goodbye to my grandmother so we went up and she wasn't doing very good at all.  Couldn't even close her own eyes.  It was very hard.  But my mother and sister were taking care of her, the best hands she could be in.  She died the next morning at 4:30.  I'm still sensitive about it.  Getting misty eyed just writing about it.  That was the 5th.  The 6th was my dads birthday.  We worked on the boat more, trying to get it done and be rid of it, and with the death and the funeral arrangements and all we didn't get much done.  The funeral was on Friday or was it Saturday... I don't know.  All the days have blended together these last few weeks working 7 days a week.  Very sad indeed.  But my family came up for it.  It is really sad that the only reason we all get together is for something tragic.  The whole family thing is something else entirely.  I am not going to get into it.  So with the funeral and all done we focused on the boat more.  Stupid little things take too long!  We took the boat out for a simple little run, which turned into a trip to the bar, and on the way there I was given to some people to put the name of their boat on for them.  It is stick on vinyl.  Came out good.  I'm good with that stuff.  I used the remote on the way out of the harbor.  It was funny, all five of us were up on the bow, using the bow thruster to steer the boat.  No one was at either wheel, because of the remote.  It was about 4 inches by 9 inches.  We were all laughing.  It was great.  Then when we got back to port and I took it out to the mooring and the owner came out in my dinghy to pick me up.  I was up on the bow peeing and he was headed for the bow, why? I don't know.  So I was hurrying and zipping up.  Well evidently he was too close and the boat rode up on a wave and the bow of the dinghy got under the lifting rail and dipped down into the water and filled up in about a second.  This was no good.  I was on the boat and the owner was in the ocean.  So I got him back onboard and we were bailing the dinghy out *it didn't sink all the way the foam we have under the seat kept it at the surface* and it was about 90% bailed when he decided to get in to bail it out the rest of the way so we didn't have to streach out and bail.  When he got in, it sank again!  Gah.  So we got him back in.  I bailed the boat out.  He jumped off the boat, why not he was already wet.  Got back in.  We got in the dinghy.  Got into dry land.  Finally Sunday the boat left.  And it was another race.  Close one though, so I didn't leave the night before.  It was foggy and I got him a bearing for him to take his boat home on and we said our good byes and good lucks and stuff and we went our seperate ways.  I was watching him on my radar and I noticed him stop moving... This couldn't be good so I swung around and went back and found him.  He said that he wanted to let the fog lift some before he went so he could see the bouys for the journy home.  I took him to the first bouy since he was close to the shoreline and it was getting a little shallow and he said he could take it from there and we left again.  In the fog.  Damned fog.  I only went 27 mph or so, letting the transmission have it nice and easy.  I drained the 30 weight oil out of it and replaced it with 80 weight, hoping that it would help some.  The fog finally broke which was good because I was going between islands at that time.  Lots of pourpoise *spelling* out there.  Got there.  Signed up.  Bought T-shirts.  Had breakfast.  Went out and rafted up.  Got ready to race.  Went to the start line.  And the boat that beat me last year was there.  He had raced boats with 1200 hp and now all of a sudden he was in my class, 400 hp.  What the fuck.  Anyways we lined up and he caused a restart, because he was back behind everyone else.  We lined up again and I had the hole shot, jumped right out infront of everybody.  When I poured the power to her, the transmission went all to shit.  Slipping totally.  I managed to get fourth.  And they didn't beat me by much.  It was bad though, spitting and sputtering it would catch, let go, catch, let go.  Everyone could hear it over their exhausts and mine.  It was really bad.  *heavy sigh*  So we came home, just kept giving it a little bit of power and I got a 30 mph cruise out of it.  No one will believe me that my transmission went.  Oh well.  I just pulled it today to fix it tomorrow.  Which just so happens to be my birthday!  Send me a present.  Nudity would be ok, I'm fine with that ;)  Well, female nudity.  Female only.  Otherwise send money!  How is that for an update?
 

posted by Suicide at 9:06 PM